jewcy

Hey There!

2008-04-08T19:32:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted in a very very very long time.
But as my life is winding down, I will start to post again.

Let me know what you are interested in having me write.

DID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-18T00:43:00.000-05:00

OUR WEDDING COUNTDOWN

2007-02-28T10:53:00.000-05:00

Ryan and Chana Erin's Wedding Count Down

Update

2007-02-07T15:47:00.000-05:00

Well I have had a few changes in my personal life these past months,
and if you want to read my fiance's sweet, beautiful writing about it

♥♥♥THEN CLICK HERE♥♥♥

Youth

2007-01-11T15:20:00.003-05:00

King Without A Crown

2007-01-11T15:19:00.000-05:00

Irreplacable

2007-01-11T13:40:00.000-05:00

I can't get this song out of my head.

Pay it forward

2007-01-03T21:28:00.000-05:00

Today was one of those days...where you feel like you escaped death. Well the feeling, not that I actually escaped death. There has been a lot going on in my life the past few months, some unbelievably fantastic, and a few horrific things...

and I just narrowly escaped it. I want to say thank you to everyone for not just the big things but for the little things that my friends, family, aquaitences, other parents at my kid's school, and yes even strangers...

they did things like:

*last winter there was a big snow fall and when I didn't have a snow and ice cleaner for the windows of my car, a father at the school saw me struggling and GAVE me his extra one (which is quite fancy and works great)from his trunk, gave me a smile and said keep it, I still remember that because I was having a really bad day, and that really helped me

*a good friend helped me get the beautiful townhouse that I live in now, and now we are neighbours

*another good friend helped me pack, move, shop and schlep and put together new furniture...and even lent me her cleaning lady for a day :)

*lots of meals at friends and outings---whoo hoo---concerts!!!!!

*and sometimes a good cuddle from the right person ;) makes everything instantly better, thanks to my delicious kids...

Not to mention all the unbelievable things "THE ONE" has done for me, and that list is just WAY too long....

I also believe in pay it forward, and now it is my turn.

Jewish Hope and Courage

2006-12-24T16:29:00.000-05:00

I saw this on another site and thought it was very effective.

And now for something FUN! "The Treadmill Dance"

2006-11-27T12:37:00.001-05:00

This is a video I saw months ago, but I enjoyed it so much I thought I would post it here.
It is one of the best music videos I have seen!(sorry Matisyahu)

The "F" Word (shhh feminist shhh)

2006-11-21T13:36:00.000-05:00

Because women's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and

we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and

if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and

if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and

if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and

if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and 'unfeminine' and if we don't we're typical weak females and

if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and

because we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and

if we can't cope or don't want a pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and...

for lots of other reasonswe are part of the women's liberation movement."

-Anonymous

In memory of the Women who Died on Dec.6th, 1989 in the Montreal Masacre and in Honour of all Women who die as a Result of Violence Against Women

2006-11-15T21:07:00.000-05:00

Judy Small wrote:

The massacre of 14 women by a deranged young man at the University of Montreal in early December 1989 shocked people all over the world. I believe until we begin to ask questions like this we cannot hope to find the answers:

It was a cold December afternoon, the line stretched round the block
And some of them were weeping and some of them were still in shock
Seven thousand came that day to pay their last respects
To 14 women slaughtered for no reason but their sex

And the cameras and the mikes were there to record the grief and fear
Of the ordinary people who worked and studied here
And a woman in her fifties in a gentle quiet tone
Summed up her sisters' outrage at the murder of their own

She said "I wonder why, as I try to make sense of this
Why is it always men who resort to the gun, the sword and the fist?
Why does gunman sound so familiar while gunwoman doesn't quite ring true?

What is it about men that makes them do the things they do?"

And the man behind her in the line he started getting steamed
He said "It wasn't because he was a man, this guy was crazy, mad, obscene!"

"Yes he was crazy" the woman replied, "but women go crazy too
And I've never heard of a woman shooting 14 men, have you?"

And all the other times came flooding back to me again
A hundred news reports of men killing family, strangers, friends
And yes I can remember one or two where a woman's hand held the gun
But exceptions only prove the rule and the questions remain

And don't you wonder why, as I try to make sense of this
Why is it always men who resort to the gun, the sword and the fist?
Why does gunman sound so familiar while gunwoman doesn't quite ring true?

What is it about men that makes them do the things they do?

And I know there are men of conscience who aren't like that at all
Who would never raise a fist in anger and who reject the macho role
And if you were to ask them about the violence that men do
I know they'd say they hate male violence too

And so we wonder why as we try to make sense of this
Why is it always men who resort to the gun, the sword and the fist?
Why does gunman sound so familiar while gunwoman doesn't quite ring true?

What is it about men that makes them do the things they do?
What is it about men that makes them do the things they do?

Wear A White Ribbon November 25th

2006-11-10T13:20:00.000-05:00

Men and women need to unite together to state that violence against women is not tolerated.

AND EVEN MORE OF MY MATISYAHU PICS

2006-11-06T19:47:00.000-05:00

And here are even more, I have a ton but I think you get the jist of it by now........:) :D

MY VERY OWN MATISYAHU PICS

2006-11-06T19:41:00.000-05:00

Here FINALLY are the pictures I took of Matisyahu at the Oct. Toronto show.

MY MATISYAHU PICS ON ANOTHER SITE

2006-11-06T15:59:00.000-05:00

Click here to see 3 out of 100 pictures I personally took with my own camera at the Toronto Matisyahu concert

I am going to try and post the best dozen or so on my blog in the next few days.

hazak hazak

2006-11-03T15:45:00.000-05:00

Jerusalem

2006-11-01T19:48:00.000-05:00

Here is Matusyahu's newest video, it is AMAZING of course.......
The lyrics are in the green box on the right hand side of my blog - in the side bar.

BEAUTY?

2006-11-01T14:10:00.000-05:00

I AM A BLOGGING CELEBRITY (well sort of)

2006-10-31T21:43:00.000-05:00

CHECK ME OUT!!! WHOO HOO!! I AM A BLOGGING STAR!!!!!!!!!!!
CLICK HERE TO SEE ME IN ALL MY GLORY

Meeting MATISYAHU

2006-10-24T13:02:00.000-04:00

First of all let me just preempt this entry by saying that I would only have this kind of star studded reaction to only a few people in the entire world. I am not a groupie, ultimate fan or celebrity watcher by any means, but for some reason (and everyone has ONE) there are probably 3 people in the world that I would love to meet -and I MET one of them.

Okay so yes it happened, it truly truly happened.
How it did still evades me.
How the heck I only got one picture of us and it is BLURRY still evades me as well :(
But I digress.....
First of all, the concert itself was amazing! I was standing FRONT AND CENTRE. With my Israeli flag. There is no way I could have gotten a better place to see Matis perform. I won't even mention that the concert was called for 7pm and he didn't get onstage till 10:30pm. I don't like waiting in general(who does)but for him I did.
His vocals, lyrics and talent are truly unbelievable and need to be exerienced in person to really appreciate him for who he is and what he does.
I won't be able to tell you what the crowd was like because I wouldn't look back for a second!
My favorite performance was when he did a slower version of 'Indestructable'.
It was such a blast being able to yell out all the lyrics to all his songs and see that he saw me and acknowledged me doing it. A stranger beside me kept saying throughout the concert, are you sure Matisyahu doesn't know you because he keeps looking at you. (I think it is because he thought I was beautiful LOL).
At one point in the song 'Ancient Lullaby' he stood right infront of me and when he got to the lyrics "I am you, you are me" he pointed at himself and then me and then back to himself!
During the song "Jerusalem" I of course waved my Israeli flag.
His mother in law, and sister in law had previously in the week arranged to meet me after the concert and take me backstage. They very kindly took me backstage to meet him.

We arrived backstage and when he came out he said a few words and then instructed the Rabbi to start as WE DAVENED MARIV TOGETHER!!!!! Then, I met him.
He was very gracious and said that he had seen pictures of me and my children. (through a family friend). He also said that he saw me in the concert at the front.
We exchanged a few words which are personal to me and I don't want to blog about, and then he signed my Matisyahu gear and I very humbly left. By then it was 2 am.

I very hesitantly blog about this due to it being a very special moment for me, but really wanted to share it on some level.

By the way Blogger isn't uplaoading my images of the concert so I will try to post them at a later date.

SHORT film every human should watch

2006-10-18T09:37:00.000-04:00

This exhibition should enrage every human alive CLICK HERE

SOHO Orthodox Synagogue - THE COOL SHUL

2006-10-09T21:37:00.000-04:00

Trendy and Orthodox "A Shul with Ambiance", I love it!

It's never too late to discover your inner Jew!

2006-10-09T20:58:00.000-04:00

Cute 30 second film

A MOVIE ABOUT MY HEART

2006-09-26T20:41:00.000-04:00

Lately yes I have been just putting videos on my blog. But sometimes I can be moved more by visuals and music then I can by the written word. This film truly moved me, PLEASE WATCH.

Ethiopian Jews Beta Israel 2005

2006-09-05T21:14:00.000-04:00

Once again thank you to "Everything about Matisyahu" for showing me this video:

Just because it is erev Shabbat

2006-08-24T11:47:00.001-04:00

Click here to see a short cute movie

"The Hour of The Female Warrior"

2006-08-23T10:41:00.000-04:00

The war in Lebanon in the last month was the first conflict in which women served in operational combat roles. They fought shoulder to shoulder and back to back with the men, taking a full and equal part in the fight after steps by IDF to integrate women into its fighting forces. And now, at the moment of truth, the women's sacrifices to the defense of the State of Israel is evident.

Click here to read more

Make good Karma

2006-08-16T21:52:00.001-04:00

So life is busy and crazy and non stop.
Do not forget to stop and hug and love the ones that mean so much to you.
Do it today, now this instant.
I believe you have one life, one shot to do the best you can.
Do everything, enjoy, love, experience passion, intimacy, celebrate, make your own world your dream world.

Another person I know died, it happened suddenly today, so young and full of life.

Love every moment, and savour every second, because it DOES matter.

Jewish Wassup Commercial

2006-08-07T13:02:00.000-04:00

I found just found this and thought I would share.

Music I Am Listening To Besides Matisyahu...

2006-08-06T22:51:00.000-04:00

My new old favorite song by Beth Neilson Chapman:

I held you close to me
Once in a distant dream
Far from the shores of my fear
I sailed on this ocean
Where all I imagined could happen
And now you are here
It's so hard to touch what is out of our hands
To know and to trust what the heart understands

Only the ones who believe
Ever see what they dream
Ever dream what comes true
Life gives us magic
And life brings us tragedy
Everyone suffers some loss
Still we have faith in it
Childlike hope
There's a reason that outweighs the cost
And gravity throws all these rules in our way
And sometimes the spirit refuses to play

Oh Love
Turn me around in your arms
And in this dream we share
Let us not miss one kiss

I want to hold you now
And listen to you breathe
It's like the ocean sound
Whispering through the trees
In the hollow of your shoulder
There's a tide pool of my tears
Where the waves came crashing over
And the shoreline disappears

Baby close your eyes
Fly back there with me
Where the phosphor shines
Green flashlights from the sea
Our nets were full of soft shells
Our hearts were free from toil
And we made love on the kitchen table
Till the water reached a boil

We hold it all for a little while, don't we...
Kiss the dice, taste the rain
Like little knives upon our tongue
We can do no wrong when the lights come on
And the music plays
And we take the stage like we own the place
As if time were cheap and the night forever young

So let 'em turn my soul
Seven shades of blue

And with the ocean's roll
I will wave to you
And the birds will sing my laughter
And the whales will steal my song
And I'll be ok forever after
And the world will get along

Get the Facts

2006-08-04T14:27:00.000-04:00

CLICK HERE FOR A VIDEO OF THE FACTS

Matisyahu Mini Documentary

2006-08-04T07:28:00.000-04:00

Thank you to Blog "Everything About Matisyahu" for showing me this doc and for showing me how to post it on my blog.

2006-08-03T19:17:00.000-04:00

So this is me at my birthday party two weeks ago.
My first photo ever posted!

A Link to A Simple Explanation for those who don't "Get It"

2006-08-01T21:16:00.000-04:00

"We can forgive you for killing our sons. But we will never forgive you for making us kill yours." Golda Meir said to Anwar Saddat just before peace talks.

My life of no regret

2006-07-07T02:42:00.000-04:00

It's an interesting thing a death of a friend does to one's psychie. It really makes you reflect on your life and everything you are doing, the people, family and friends you share your life with, where you are going and what those people mean to you.

There is a cliche that staes you have to live every second as if it were your last.

I do try my best and try to lead the best life that I know how...be a good parent, person, friend, partner, and human being in general, but do you ever think to yourself and think, "What else could I do?"

Am I really the person I was meant to be, am I doing what I am supposed to be? How do I truly know that I am who I am meant to be...

I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason and life is not just chance but it all has meaning and purpose...

But sometimes feelings, emotions, wants and desires get in the way...if only I didn't feel as much as I do, or could love less than I do sometimes I think life would be so much easier....I would be able to have such a deeper breath...and not worry about everyone that I hold so dear to my heart, sometimes I just want to hold my loved ones in my arms for an eternity..
but then life wouldn't be what it is supposed to be and it would be less interesting...

I just have to live each day and savour each day and each moment and say what I feel without fear, because I want to live a life of no regret...

But most importantly I made myself a promise today. I will tell my children and the people in my life how amazing they are and how much I love them. I will hold nothing back and let my loved ones know...

that they are truly loved. After all what is the harm in telling each other how much you love each other? Absolutely nothing. I am truly blessed that my loved ones in my life feel the same way.

Be good to the people in your life and love as much as you possibly can, you will get so much more out of life.

Drafts

2006-07-05T22:58:00.000-04:00

Okay so I have half a dozen entries sitting as drafts.
I can't figure out what is keeping me from posting them.
Mostly I think because they are way too personal and this is the only medium I use to write at the moment.
What does everyone else do with those drafts, do they just sit there like a private journal? Which would be an interesting concept because I haven't kept one since I was a teenager and I still have all my old journals.
Maybe I should start an anonymous blog and just post everything there - a kind of purging of writing?
What do all of you do with those writings that you just don't have the guts to publish?

The inner workings of one's heart

2006-06-25T23:01:00.000-04:00

How does one describe the inner workings of ones own heart.
I think it may be impossible.
It seems that there is always so much going on in there.
Desires, wants, needs, and cravings.
Things we all long for but yet may never experience.
Things we have that we have that we are grateful for.

Passion, love, caring, empathy, sadness, jealousy, disappointment, passion.
All these things--how to express them, relay them, experience them.

It affects every aspect of life and our relationships.....

Updates on an update

2006-06-15T07:27:00.000-04:00

I know it has been awhile since I posted, but I will soon, so watch this space!

Warm possibilities

2006-05-25T17:58:00.000-04:00

There is something about the sun that is irresistible to me. I can't help but feel giddy and excited every time the month of May rolls around. Warm weather brings out happiness in me. And brings back so many memories too.

Like sitting out on my high school lawn with all my friends as soon as the thermometer read anything past 10 Celsius. Playing with my gang of neighbourhood childhood friends outside until the streetlights went on. (come on, I can't be the only one whose parent gave them that rule). Walking around different parking lots of numerous cities sunburnt and exaughsted but so freaking happy after seeing Grateful Dead concert after Grateful Dead concert. Sitting for endless hours on patios with my drink of choice and friends I met while travelling around the world when I was in my early twenties. Cottage porches with family. My sister's wedding on a beach in Alberta, and yes there are beaches in Alberta... Trips to the Caribbean, and so many more memories.

With all the positive experiences I have had in warm weather it is no wonder that I welcome the warm weather and all the new and memories it can bring with it every year. I look forward to this year's possibilities....

6 unpacked boxes

2006-05-06T15:01:00.000-04:00

I got inspired today as my cleaning lady was here and decided to start sorting through the last 6 unpacked boxes. Hey, it only took me a year...

As I was going through my things I started to realize how far I have come in my life and how happy I am right now at this very moment in time.

It is funny how a person can look back on their lives and see things so clearly....'hindsight is 20/20'.

Decisions that one has to make in their lives and hoping and praying that they will be the right ones, and sometimes they aren't and sometimes they are, but every choice and decision we make leads us to this time and place in our lives. And I can truly say that I am absolutely happy and confident with my life and who I am, so everything before has been an accumulation to bring me to where I am.

I was telling someone the other day that if only I could stay at this moment in time for as long as I want.....
Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing to be able to do? When one is truly happy to just put the pause button on for awhile and truly bask in the glow of it, in the warmth and comfort of it....
That is why we really have to - as human beings hold onto these moments and keep them in out minds and our hearts and always remember, cause that is what gets us through the hard parts in life....knowing that life can be absolutely fabulous.......

Israeli Women Soldiers

2006-04-19T21:02:00.000-04:00

I came across these photos and wanted to share....

Israeli Women Soldiers Photos

Do Platonic Friendships Exist?

2006-04-12T10:21:00.000-04:00

So the question that has been rolling around in my brain off and on for a few weeks:

"Is it possible for heterosexual men and women to have platonic friendships with each other?"

And reading http://nondatinglife.blogspot.com/2005/03/part-six-flipside-of-friend-zone.html made me really think about it- and enough to want to blog about it.

I have many male friends and a few close male friends. So when reading the aforementioned link I started to wonder about my own male friendships.

Is there always some underlying feeling from one person or the other? As one of my friends told me: "One person always likes the other one more." Something like a scene from "My Best Friends Wedding".

So first let me tackle the debate on the side of- "if this is true" then why do we continue to have these kind of relationships?

If you are the person with the feelings then is it that you are waiting for the other person to reciprocate it?
If you are the person without the feelings, then is it that you have some kind of intuition that the person has feelings for you? Or maybe they have come right out and told you that they do, and you like it in some sort of twisted, contorted way?

Now, if "it isn't true" that one person always likes the other one more, then there are many reasons as to why heterosexual men and women are friends, and some of them may be:
Women like getting attention from men even if it IS platonic and vica versa.
There isn't the same kind of competitive feeling that can sometimes happen when two women are friends.
Men are more able to be open about their feelings and be emotional with women friends.
They give great insight into each others dating situations.
And for many more reasons I am sure.

But, all that being said, there is an underlying issue that also needs to be discussed. How does ones significant other feel about the "friend" in ones life. My guess, is not that good. I was discussing this with a friend of mine and she had been going through this struggle in her relationship. Things had been happening that had made her uncomfortable. Some examples; when one person spends more time with that woman or man than the significant other, or they are the first one they called in the morning from bed while she was lying right there...NAKED!...or they go out of their way to be protective of them, take care of them when they are around, or spend more time with them when you are both at the same function, or change plans with your significant other to be with the "friend", or possibly the "don't make me choose between you and them" conversation has happened..... and maybe you have a few that you could add to this imaginary and friend referenced list, then I think there may be a slight problem, or a feeling of being slighted is more like it. Ever see the tv show "Grey's Anatomy" and the McDreamy friend situation? After all it IS hard hearing your significant other talk about another man or woman all the freakin" time!

A male friend of mine told me today that he has a best friend who is a woman. He said he would never date her because she is his friend's ex gf. Yet he did say "But I would bang her in a heartbeat." And I think that is my point exactly. There is some kind of underlying sexual tension whether anyone ever wants to admit it or not. Here is where I should be referencing "When Harry Met Sally".

I think the key is in balance and making sure your bf/gf/husband/wife (whatever) feels like they are the most important person in your life. After all aren't your significant others supposed to be your best friend, or am I just too idealistic? I think that if one is doing their best to be the best they can in a relationship then this wouldn't even be an issue.

Women and men have sixth senses about these kind of things and sometimes the radar goes up for a reason. History has proved that over and over I am sure of it. Although a good small healthy dose of jealousy has been known to be good for a relationship.

Also, is it okay to have close friends that one used to be in a relationship with? This is a tricky one because inevitably one person didn't want to break up and there will always be some sort of residual feelings left. And that issue, I think, is just not fair for a significant other to have to deal with on an ongoing basis. Your significant others love should suffice - no need for past loves to keep theirs up as well.

We haven't even discussed the "feeling inferior to the best friend" feelings. Ones significant other is best friends with them for a reason. They see something in them and click with them in a way that one doesn't with anyone else. There is history and a closeness that maybe can't be matched in the same way as a relationship. They have helped them somehow through tough times and been there to celebrate the good times. They are the "go to person".

So, if you happen to know someone who has a best friend that is of the opposite sex, have a good look at that relationship and maybe you will eventually see something happen like a scene right out of "My Best Friends Wedding" or maybe you won't.

As you can tell I am totally on the fence with this issue, I have a few really close male friends, and I wouldn't give them up for anything.

The Jewish Single Life

2006-04-04T18:30:00.000-04:00

Well just as I start a blog the very thing I want to write about the most- dating- I have stopped doing, reason being I am dating only one person now. (So have I stopped? Technically I guess not, giggle, giggle).

Last fall my dating life was nothing short of a humourous Jewish dating documentary. In fact in retrospect I think I should have been video taping the entire experience. I was (as one of the guys I was dating put it) - POWER DATING. And the experiences and people I met were like scenes from a Hollywood romantic comedy, or should I say more like a comedy. A Jewish dating comedy, as I only date Jewish men.

I had been getting set up through friends, the internet-yes I admit I was on Jdate among others...., and I even tried speeddating once.

Some became friends after dating, some became friends immediately. I did meet a lot of nice, intelligent, kind men. But I did have some interesting experiences.

From the first guy who proposed to me almost immediately in the middle of Chapters, to the guy who called me 20 times on my cell phone in one night after our 3rd date. Then there was the guy who tried to make out with me 15 minutes after meeting me. There was a guy who I did like and dated for a month or two but he couldn't stop HIS power dating, he enjoyed women too much. Did I mention that he was divorced and used to have porn site with his ex-wife where she was the star? One guy thought that if he got me drunk enough I would sleep with him, or so he said, I never stuck around to find out. Yes it is true, there was a guy who was so sexually attracted to me that he thought I could cure his erectile dysfunction-NO JOKE! Another -after only having one coffee date, I cancelled a second date with him cause I met my present bf in between. The response from the guy I cancelled on was to send me an extremely lengthly scathing email to which one would have thought that we had been engaged.

And now I seem to have collected a database of single jewish men, from which my gf's have been known to dabble in once in awhile. And the database of single jewish men have been known to ask me to hook them up as well. I have become a semi, biproxy, not by choice, slightly moonlighting, on the side, matchmaker.

But I guess we are all in some form or another looking for that Mr. or Ms. Right.

Free Love

2006-04-04T12:55:00.000-04:00

My children's hearts are boundless. They have this beautiful capability to be open and accepting of people.

Today I was talking with my daughter about a friend of mine she only recently met....
and she so easily, openly, trustingly and so matter - of - factly stated that she loves them!

I found it truly touching. And what I am about to state may sound contrived, corny or cheesy but I will say it anyway... I think everyone should love so easily as she.

Amazed

2006-04-01T08:52:00.000-05:00

I was watching my kids play today without them knowing. I was amazed at how well at ages 4 and 6 they can make up stories, games and be self entertaining. Neither one of them is bossy nor the leader. They both just compromise and listen to one another.

Of course it isn't always smooth sailing and there can be disagreements but they don't last for long.

I find that actually my 4 year old boy has the latest trend of being demanding of his 6 yr old sister-and in her true personality always calls him on it. I hope this is a trait that she holds onto for her lifetime. Especially since she is female.

It is such a treat for me to sit back and observe them intermingling. I get to be a eye witness, a spectator (sometimes a referee) and a fan of their childhoods all at the same time. I feel truly blessed that I am the mother of those two amazing human beings. I am hoping that they always play as well together as they are today.

Trouble Ahead

2006-03-23T19:57:00.000-05:00

So I think I see trouble ahead with my 6 year old daughter.

She already likes to wear shirts that show off her belly button. She asks if the food and drink I give her is low fat!

And- tonight - she asked me what flirting is, who is my boyfriend and when can she have one too.

My friend was over (who on a side note just happens to be male) and commented that I am going to be in it deep with her when she becomes a teenager.

She is thoughtful, kind, and sweet with another side that is head strong, opinionated, stubborn, argumentative and smart as a whip. And to top it all off she is absolutely gorgeous, or so everyone tells me--I am her mother after all.

Fresh

2006-03-22T11:34:00.000-05:00

I find myself laughing and being happy most of the time these days. I have made so many changes to my life in the past year -my home, occupation, education, marital status........

I am finally starting to really enjoy my new life, what I am doing and how I am forging a way for myself in this world. The ability to have the awareness and truly know that I am the one who is creating my life. That I have the power to make my life the way I want it to be and to listen to my heart, my soul and my dreams-whatever they may be and may change to be....

I choose everything, from the simple things like what to buy in the grocery store, how to decorate my home, to what friends I have, to the lovers I choose, how to raise my children---it is all up to me and that is powerful notion that I have always known but not LIVED until a year ago.

In a way I feel like the world has reintroduced itself to me. I see everything with the enthusiasm of a child and want to take it all in. I am eager to see every new day, to experience new things, to enjoy my life, appreciate the amazing people who are in my life and be proud of who I am.

Wait and See

2006-03-20T20:20:00.000-05:00

I find that I want to tell everything and yet nothing all at the same time. Thoughts like, how much should I reveal, do I use real names, what if someone I know reads this, should I tell the person who introduced me to this world of blogging that I am doing this, should I put a picture up......

Will anyone even care about what I am writing, will my blog suck and no one will visit, or will I spend hours upon hours of time making it a fun place to meander into.......

Should I discuss dating, my love life, my boyfriend, heartbreaks, what it is like to be divorced at such a young age with two children, dare I even bring up topics like passion, sex and love - in that order because that is usually the order it happens in for me.......

Religion, how much should I discuss my spirituality, what it is like to be Jewish, a woman, a convert, and formerly orthodoxISH.......

Should I tell of my friendships, my families, my crisis', my worries, my fears.....

And will this be creative, cathartic or a casualty.... I can only wait and see

Finding my way

2006-03-20T19:51:00.000-05:00

This is the first time I have blogged, or really attempted any kind of formal writing at all....if that is what it can be called yet. I was recently introduced to this world and find it quite intriguing. A way to share your life, expression and creativity all in one. I haven't told one single person that I am attempting this. I will just find my own way.