Do Platonic Friendships Exist?

So the question that has been rolling around in my brain off and on for a few weeks:

"Is it possible for heterosexual men and women to have platonic friendships with each other?"

And reading http://nondatinglife.blogspot.com/2005/03/part-six-flipside-of-friend-zone.html made me really think about it- and enough to want to blog about it.

I have many male friends and a few close male friends. So when reading the aforementioned link I started to wonder about my own male friendships.

Is there always some underlying feeling from one person or the other? As one of my friends told me: "One person always likes the other one more." Something like a scene from "My Best Friends Wedding".

So first let me tackle the debate on the side of- "if this is true" then why do we continue to have these kind of relationships?

If you are the person with the feelings then is it that you are waiting for the other person to reciprocate it?
If you are the person without the feelings, then is it that you have some kind of intuition that the person has feelings for you? Or maybe they have come right out and told you that they do, and you like it in some sort of twisted, contorted way?

Now, if "it isn't true" that one person always likes the other one more, then there are many reasons as to why heterosexual men and women are friends, and some of them may be:
Women like getting attention from men even if it IS platonic and vica versa.
There isn't the same kind of competitive feeling that can sometimes happen when two women are friends.
Men are more able to be open about their feelings and be emotional with women friends.
They give great insight into each others dating situations.
And for many more reasons I am sure.

But, all that being said, there is an underlying issue that also needs to be discussed. How does ones significant other feel about the "friend" in ones life. My guess, is not that good. I was discussing this with a friend of mine and she had been going through this struggle in her relationship. Things had been happening that had made her uncomfortable. Some examples; when one person spends more time with that woman or man than the significant other, or they are the first one they called in the morning from bed while she was lying right there...NAKED!...or they go out of their way to be protective of them, take care of them when they are around, or spend more time with them when you are both at the same function, or change plans with your significant other to be with the "friend", or possibly the "don't make me choose between you and them" conversation has happened..... and maybe you have a few that you could add to this imaginary and friend referenced list, then I think there may be a slight problem, or a feeling of being slighted is more like it. Ever see the tv show "Grey's Anatomy" and the McDreamy friend situation? After all it IS hard hearing your significant other talk about another man or woman all the freakin" time!

A male friend of mine told me today that he has a best friend who is a woman. He said he would never date her because she is his friend's ex gf. Yet he did say "But I would bang her in a heartbeat." And I think that is my point exactly. There is some kind of underlying sexual tension whether anyone ever wants to admit it or not. Here is where I should be referencing "When Harry Met Sally".

I think the key is in balance and making sure your bf/gf/husband/wife (whatever) feels like they are the most important person in your life. After all aren't your significant others supposed to be your best friend, or am I just too idealistic? I think that if one is doing their best to be the best they can in a relationship then this wouldn't even be an issue.

Women and men have sixth senses about these kind of things and sometimes the radar goes up for a reason. History has proved that over and over I am sure of it. Although a good small healthy dose of jealousy has been known to be good for a relationship.

Also, is it okay to have close friends that one used to be in a relationship with? This is a tricky one because inevitably one person didn't want to break up and there will always be some sort of residual feelings left. And that issue, I think, is just not fair for a significant other to have to deal with on an ongoing basis. Your significant others love should suffice - no need for past loves to keep theirs up as well.

We haven't even discussed the "feeling inferior to the best friend" feelings. Ones significant other is best friends with them for a reason. They see something in them and click with them in a way that one doesn't with anyone else. There is history and a closeness that maybe can't be matched in the same way as a relationship. They have helped them somehow through tough times and been there to celebrate the good times. They are the "go to person".

So, if you happen to know someone who has a best friend that is of the opposite sex, have a good look at that relationship and maybe you will eventually see something happen like a scene right out of "My Best Friends Wedding" or maybe you won't.

As you can tell I am totally on the fence with this issue, I have a few really close male friends, and I wouldn't give them up for anything.